Dear Amy: I am a divorced year-old woman who is experiencing a disturbing situation. Men I meet for possible relationships have what I describe as argumentative personalities.
They are never agreeable with any topics that come up in conversation. The topics range from personal decisions to politics to differences between men and women. These men come across as misogynistic, condescending, critical of everything around them, and yet they see themselves as decent, normal, good guys who know how to treat women. Just what has happened to the art of decent conversation?
After talking to these men for a short period of time the focus turns away from seeking companionship to sparring partners. If you are having the same sort of experience over and over again, you should take a careful look at whatever presumably online venue you are using to meet these men, and see if there are red flags in their profiles that might indicate that they are more interested in sparring than sparking.
During my long-ago journey into online matching, I admit to having experiences similar to yours. It seemed that the people I was meeting were sometimes relitigating their previous relationships. I often felt unduly challenged and tested.
Honestly, few of these people seemed actually interested in getting to know me at all. This might be a function of the speed with which many people approach the matching process.
